What Could be a great Mid-90’s SNL Skit
The scene is a college classroom. There are fourteen kids and a handsome 30 year old professor. The class is called “Negotiations.”
Professor: All right class. I know I’ve been referencing the final for a while now, not telling you exactly what it is. But today I’m finally going to explain to everybody how the final exam works in this class.
Brian: Yeah! Tell us!
Professor: Brian, leave.
(Brian Exits)
Professor: All right. The rest of you are ready to know. The final in this class, is to convince me what grade you deserve on it.
(Class is silent. Stunned. Confused. Excited.)
Professor: That’s right. No questions, no answers. Just convince me of what grade you want, and we will negotiate your final score. It will be worth 65% of your grade.
(Professor bites his lower lip and raises his eyebrows, knowing that he’s really cool for thinking of such an experimental concept.)
4 weeks later. It’s finals time.
Professor: Rachel! Come on in, its your turn!
Rachel comes in.
Professor: Okay Rach. Whadyou think you deserve on this final?
Rachel: An A.
Professor: You fail. Next.
Rachel: Minus! An A Minus!
Professor: I’m listening…
Rachel: Because I’ve been doing pretty well in class but I could have participated more.
Professor: C-.
Rachel: C+ ?
Professor: Great counter offer. B+
Rachel: Awesome!
Professor: Never settle. D.
Rachel: No! Please! I’ll do anything.
Professor: Great Job Rach. I’m giving you that A- you originally wanted.
Rachel: Yes!
Professor: Fail. Leave. Goodbye.
Rachel: I hate you!
Professor: B-. And that’s if you leave right now. I’m serious.
Rachel: I’ll take it!
Professor: C. And call Brian in. He’s next.
(Rachel leaves, confused, yet happy. She calls Brian in.)
Brian: Ummm. I have no idea what’s going on here.
Professor: I love it. A+.
Brian: What? Awesome.
Professor: Brian. Sit down. Do you believe in God?
